Lionel's Monologue

“For my ninth grade English homework last night, we had to write about the time when we “lost our innocence” or “came to realization with the real world” and memories of the time when my mom invaded my father’s dinghy, which was where I could have my own little world, came up. I remember that ever since I was two, I would always run away from home. I couldn’t stand that awful smell that surrounded my mother every time she lit a cigarette or the way she always grabbed at me and touched me inappropriately. That one time when I ran away to my father’s dinghy and my mom came after me would be when I “came to realization with the real world.” The dinghy used to be my own refuge, where nobody else was allowed on. Even though I was young and didn’t know much about the outside world, I still wanted to have my own world where everything was safe and quiet. I remember she came over and started talking like a sailor and called herself an admiral. After a while of me arguing that she wasn’t an admiral because my father had explained to me ladies couldn’t be admirals in the navy, she started to lower herself into the dinghy. I got freaked out because her attempt at entering my world disrupted its peaceful and safe nature. Then, there was a clear memory of me throwing away my Uncle Seymour’s goggles. I decided I didn’t need them to safely see the outside world anymore because my world was now a part of the real world. After that, my mom gave me a set of keys which I also threw into the water since I wouldn’t need them anymore after she used them to try to get into the dinghy. I started crying after that and that was when she came into my world to comfort me. But at the end of this whole event, she put her hand into my pants which was an action that scarred me for life. I didn’t really have a close relationship with her at the time, so her “move” just scared me more. I always did prefer my dad to my mom, but he was always away from home since he’s an admiral in the navy.”